Hi everyone!!!!
Oh My God!!!!! I can't believe that it's June already, and that 2016 is only...6 months away!?!? Jesus, time flies so fast nowadays. Anyway, I have finally (and successfully aced) my 4th semester, thanks to God I could learn a lot of new things and got to know a lot of really really amazing people--worked with them as well-- and reached our success together this semester. I really look forward to work together with all of them again and hopefully in the next 2 semesters (which are going to be my final semesters --sobs) we'll perform better either academically or non-academically.
My God, as I wrote the first paragraph above, it really does hit me that I only have 2 semesters left before I actually go to med school (big amen!!!) and learn you know, the real stuff in order to become a doctor. Well..you know what, actually, after all these preparations I have done in these 4 semesters, I'm still contemplating whether I'll really go to med school or not. It's stupid to say so, I know, because my parents and all of my surroundings have always expected me to become one since I was a kid. And being the usual person that I am, I just can't disappoint them. I just can't. But I don't know whether this is something that I really wanted to do, whether this job is my passion or not. Jesus, I don't even have a passion in anything! You see, thinking about this makes me so damn confused. I feel like I'm the only one left in my year that doesn't have anywhere to go. People are so densely sure of what they're going to take, of what they're going to be, of their choices meanwhile I'm here, typing all of these words, unsure of what I'm going to be--doctor or no-doctor!?
The thought of disappointing people that I love has been haunting my mind since forever. I can say that I'm the weakest person out there when it comes to family and friends, like I'd actually surrender or sacrifice the things that I love in order to make them happy. But when it comes to your dream, would you give it up in order to live up to others' expectations? I know that most of you that are reading this right now would think NO-- and believe me I do too-- but I don't know how it's just different for this one. I know exactly that I have to do this, because you have no idea how proud my family would be. And hey-- I think I just figured out one thing. That's my dream actually, my dream is to make my family proud and happy. They've taken care of me really well and they've done a pretty good job on both raising and educating me, so I guess this is the only thing that I can do in order to make it even.
Don't take this the wrong way, me becoming a doctor isn't fully based on my family or my surroundings' demand, but I'm also willing to become one. Ever since they started to put up their hopes on me, I realized that maybe becoming a doctor isn't that bad after all. I've always loved hearing and helping others sort their problems out and I guess this is my way of channeling it. So yeah, I certainly hope that things would work out for me until next year, hopefully I can graduate and proceed to med school and everyone finally gets their happy ending.
To everyone who has the same problem as me, I'll just let you know that you're not the only one who is still unsure of which path you're going to take. What I can say to you is that just study your hardest, work your ass off, believe in your dreams, and don't ever give up on it. (Like i do. LOL just kidding!)
Until next time, and happy holidays everyone!!!!
Smooch,
M
