my proudest possesion II {a very long post.}

Hi everyone!

so anyway, i'm really excited to write this post because im gonna show off some of my new stuffs from Holland and Switzerland!!!!! And no, no. I'm not the one who got the chance to spend my holiday there but my brother was lucky and clever, so yeh. This is his 3rd time though.
At first he told me that he was going to go to amsterdam and switzerland again i was all like

but then he said 'i'll buy you things, don't worry.' and then i was like

Long story short, he decided to buy me these. (AAAAA IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW)

So remember the post when i told you that i bought my very first vinyl? Well now i have 16 of them. I KNOW RIGHT. *and the tears stream down my face*

But first things first, here's my baby-turntable that my brother gave me :

and here are the vinyls.

oh wait, these are the places where my brother bought them :

here they are :

{okay so im just going to post a few of them. why? because if i post all of my vinyls, this post will be extremely boring, broseph.}

and theeeen, my brother gave me 5 packs of chocolate mints, which are my favorites. and also, my aunt marja from  Holland gave me a huge box of chocolates and biscuits. diet what?

and the last one, my favorite, he bought me this from swiss :D

p.s : i love you so muccccch, broooo. you are the most wonderful + kindest human being in this world, literally. i can't thank you enough for the vinyls + turntables. :")

dreams and whatnot.

I sometimes think about how people can cope with their dreams or hopes. I personally don’t even know what I’m going to be or where I’m going for the next few years.

I thought about my dreams quite often—well like most of people do, I do try to make things work but at the end of the day I was never sure. What I was never sure of with what I’m going through with it.

To be honest, my own future is already on my fingertips. Not to be cocky but, my English is not that bad, my drawings are quite decent, I have a little bit of taste in fashion, and all I gotta do is work on them & practice a lot more. You may think that it’s really easy to just go with it and bam! Academy of Arts SF, but no, because it’s really hard when society forces you to do something you don’t want to.

I grow up with people who lend their dreams on me, as well as my brother does. The reason is because their dreams didn’t come true and if I live on their expectation they thought it could be better for both sides. Well I love my family and my friends, and to see them live happily and whatnot will be really great for me but after all, you can’t do something that doesn’t suit you, can you?

I’ve always wanted to do something that goes on with fashion, well this might sound corny and stuffs but I still think that -waking up late on a 5^th avenue apartment, rushing to starbucks to buy your editor-in-chief slash killer boss a latte and pick up the newest collection for VOGUE’s next month issue- is cool. And yes your guess is right mi hombre, I’ve always wanted to be a fashion editor.

My family wants me to be a dentist. They ‘forced’ me though, to be honest. They said things about all the money I’m going to have and how it’ll lead to a better life is the exact opposite of being a fashion editor—which they always say it’s an utter crap job. My father said I could be both, fashion editor and dentist, two things at a time, but to be realistic and whatnot, no. You gotta pick one.

 To disappoint my family and my friends is one of the most unholy things I will never do in my life, and that goes on top of the list. But, -- my favorite English word, but – I realize that I’m going to sacrifice my passion and my love and my happiness for this.

I’m that type of person who couldn’t get away with something and kept thinking about it until it goes away, and this time I know it wont go away, because this thing, I’m going to make a living out of it.

This may sound stupid and selfish but I’m not going to live my whole life in guilt or grow up as a woman filled with regret, aren’t I? No. But at the same time I’ll throw away their hopes on me. Which is a really hard thing to do and see because without them I won’t even be here typing all of these letters.

I know how much salary and all the money I’ll eventually or occasionally get if  I work as a dentist but I wont be doing something that I love. Living in a big house and full of maids and butlers and stuffs aren’t going to make me happy. Living in a flat on 5^th avenue with my cat and my lovely macbook is going to make happy. Touching people’s teeth is not amusing and picking up clothes for models is one damn thing that’ll keep me satisfied.

#

I know why they’re pushing me to live their dream. My family, they don’t take risks. They don’t like challenges and they can never take failure as an answer. They play safe. They want me to choose something that most people do, and came out successful with it. Despite all the ups and downs of being a fashion editor.

My future offers me choices and of course, I have to make a decision. It’s still years and years from now but what’s wrong with preparation, right? I want to take risks and yes, perhaps 75% of the chance it’ll be labeled as the wrong decision but at least I ended up doing something that I love and that’s what I’ve chosen before. Take the wrong decision and stuck somewhere chill, make an awful lot of mistakes and learn from them. It’s cliché but it’s true.

After all, I’m pretty sure what I am going to choose next is going to be a huge impact and change in my life. Change is always based on a reason. Changing always leads you to a new sphere. Either for good or for worse. Maybe I’ll be a dentist and make my parents and friends happy. Maybe I’ll be a fashion editor and meet a guy on acne. Who knows what the future holds? You can never guess what will happen next. I hope everything stays in its place and until then, I’ll certainly live my present life to its fullest and my future is going to be as bright as arctic monkeys’ lightning set in Coachella weekend 1. (They smashed it!)

:)

The Filtered Network - watch more funny videos      

i found this extremely funny so i decided to share it with you guys. How's april been treating you so far? fun? not? might as well enjoy it cause yolllloooo ahhaha.

April // Abril

Arctic Monkeys - only ones who know

Dum Dum Girls - bedroom eyes
Radiohead - creep
Nouvelle Vague - i melt with you
Villagers - set the tigers free
The XX - intro
Sad Souls - dreamcatcher
M83 - too late
Ani DiFranco - as is
Dark Dark Dark - robert

4

hi everyone!
so, yeah. it's april. and i'm currently in the mood for some writing so here are a few things you might be wondering about me and well ...now revealed. (:

--

Have you ever self harmed? Why?


No. i've never done things to hurt myself on purpose. I think doing self-harm is not going to solve any problems. Okay here, you've been hurt, and then you decided to cut yourself; that means you add more pain into you, inside and outside; mentally and physically. I don't think that harming your self will genuinely flip the problem into 180 degrees and turn things back into normal. If you have a problem, or let's say you are bullied by your seniors or the whole student body hate(s) you or something : you stand up for yourself, and prove them wrong. OR you could just simply....

It's not like by doing self-harm your problems are solved by themselves. So yeah. that's my rant slash thoughts slash opinion on self-harm. :)

Relationship with your father?


My father and i are really good with each other. Although my relationship with my dad is not as close as my relationship with mum, but everything's great. He's a great dad and i learned a lot of things from him. He is one of my role models, which is a great thing because all of my role models are cool, and that means my dad is cool (?). For the past few months I rarely speak to him though, haha. I rarely see him because he goes to work really early and comes back late. My dad is not a typical dad, he sometimes went awkward on conversations and stays quiet instead; cause he's a bit more reserved to himself. But well he's the greatest guy in the world.

Relationship with your mother?


My mum is my best friend. Like seriously, we share each other everything; food, gossip, secrets, room (haha), bags, shoes and other stuffs. She's a really really fun mum, all the lads fancy her. She's talkative, always cracks up jokes, funny and loud. And the best thing about her is that she always sees the best in people. Gotta loveeee heeer~

Which celebrity do you fancy most? Why?


Which as in who? Well, i fancy Andrew Garfield, BIG TIME rush. Because (not to mention that he's fit), he just seemed to be a very nice person. He's really down to earth, and his acting is just brilliant. He's a very talented actor and ... ah he's just lovely.

this goes to andrew garfield

Have you ever been bullied?

Bullied? As far as i can remember....no. i've never been bullied at school.

Who makes you the happiest?

1) My friends

- they are CRAZY. i can't never laugh at their jokes or their silly stupid random things they do on a daily basis, and they are always there when i needed them. 

2) My family

- of course! I love my family so much. Being with them just makes my heart warm and happy. woop.

3) My bfl

- she is just, BLAAARGH hahaha. no word to describe her, she's random, lunatic, loud, and all packed in one, been best friends for almost 2 years now. ba haaaaa.

What calms you down when you're upset?

Music. just, music, and sometimes crying because you gotta let it all out. I sing at the top of my lungs and dance like crazy until i'm back to being the most fantastic.

Who do you miss the most?

My brother. :( He's currently living in a different town, for almost 3 years now (college). I just miss living with him. Having someone to talk to, watch movies together, playing xbox in my room, food fight and exchange clothes (yep he's my size - ikr.). And he'll go to Switzerland for 10 days tomorrow, which was supposed to be his schedule to go home and eat and sleep and walk around the house randomly, but most of all, i'm so proud of him, thank you for being such a great brother (:

Have you ever fallen in love? Or had your heart broken?

No i don't think so. I think i'm in love with Alex Turner but everyone keeps telling me that it's just a celebrity crush. Meh. screw them. I love alex turner.
Oh my God. i'm forever alone.

Share a secret?

I fancy logan henderson from big time rush. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA