you make me wanna curve the corners of my mouth

Today was a lousy day. It was bad in any way possible. I didn't exactly know why but i already sensed it since i woke up. I was grumpy and gloomy and i just didn't feel like doing anything. To say that i felt like sh*t was an understatement. (Maybe it's because i'm on my period, or maybe it's just bad luck.) Everything seemed audibly and visibly annoying, and this brought me to the shittiest mood ever. The mood spread into my mom's and then everyone and then the next thing i know is of all the bad days i've experienced before, i could crown today as one of the worst days..ever.

It all started when i went to school this morning, i got a massive-massive headache from last night (ha) and i couldn't do anything about it. Panadol or anything couldn't cover the pain and so I tried to eat ...but my body denied everything i tried to swallow. I half-heartedly went back to class and finished 3rd period. I swear it was the worst-- i didn't get the chance to swap places for the class retreat, and then another bad thing happened, and it just went like a cycle, or a circle; bad things happened one after another and long story short, finally i got the chance to go home and clear my mind.

While walking home, i counted all the steps and within every step, i tried to memorize about all the bad things i've experienced lately. Not only today-- these past few weeks i've been getting a whole lot of problems. Some blame fate, some blame karma, but i think it's just bad luck. When i reached home, everything was still not as good as what i expected. I couldn't connect my house' wifi to my mac and my iPod and i thought to myself, the world is slowly coming to an end.

That was the final thing and suddenly an idea filled into the peak of my head and as cliche as it is, i felt like that cheesy speechbubble filled with a lamp on top of me clinked and i thought, why don't you try to make yourself happy?

I opened my ms word and i made a list of all the things that make me happy. And not so long after that, i wander into my own thoughts.

The first thing that popped into my mind was the kooks' song called Junk Of The Heart. The intro never fails to amuse me, and also She&Him's This Is Not A Test comes next on the list. The next thing that makes me happy is the fact that I like to think that i'm on a movie, like all the problems i'm facing right now is the climax, and then things will sort by itself (which is nonsense in real life) and then, cut! Roll the credits, please. Other than that i like to pretend that i'm a singer and my bath tub is the stage where i perform. People may not know this but i think i'm quite decent at singing. My showercap says so. And after that i like to dance naked-- only in my robe and spin the belt around and around. The next thing might sound a bit corny but people who are madly in love with each other make me happy. They make me realize that love isn't just a piece of time in the world, it's actually worth waiting for, you know? Hehe. And the last thing that makes me happy is being naked. Being naked is liberating, i feel so free and i don't know, it feels good.

Time flies fast when you don't have too much time on your hands. And by that the next thing i knew that it was short to midnight when i was listening to piledriver waltz by the arctic monkeys. It's a routine-- to close my eyes everytime i play this song, and so i tried to relax all the tenses i've had before. I could hear the outside noises sneaking through my earphones, to be honest, it surprisingly pleased me--it was soft and moist, yet it still remained quiet somehow. The tunes cheered me up in some way and suddenly it made me happy. Well this thing is simple, but it made me smile.

See? After all, today wasn't that bad. In fact, everything isn't that bad after all. Whenever you feel like there's nothing you can do to fight all the problems ...just look on the bright side. (No seriously.) I usually don't pay attention to all the small but good things that happen to myself. I only focus on the bad things and i forgot about being free about having all of these things i have right now, about how blessed i am, etc etc. Maybe we're all too focused on all the bad things that happen to ourselves and we forgot about how fun life could be. What about dancing naked and singing off-key and just leave your morning commute? Be happy while you can. I think you should just forget all your problems for a while, take off your clothes, put on your robe and dance to Lady Gaga. (Gonna be okay. Doo-doo-doo-doo Just dance.)

August // Agosto

Grimes - Oblivion
Beach House - Myth
Marina and The Diamonds - Bubblegum B
Lana Del Rey - Yayo
Frank Ocean - Super Rich Kids
Azealia Banks - Liquorice
The xx - Angels
Vampire Weekend - Cousins
Florence and The Machine - Shake It Out
Lana Del Rey - Born To Die

the hair issue

Sup dawg.

(I don't know why but lately i've been getting a lot of ghetto-disney princess feels inside of me. And also i don't know if people still use that 'sup dawg' intro...meh.)

SO! Holiday's over, it means that i've gone back to school for about a month and i'm still in that i'm-still-not-over-holiday phase. Which is bad. Oh, and a lot of things have happened since then. (like, a-lot a lot.) To catch up with my life, here are the majority of things that happened since last month :

• finally finished watching friends s10. and i dont know what to do with my life anymore.
• made some new friends at my new class, which is ten times better than last year
• done a rain dance and prayer circle simultaneously because of 1d's world tour next year. dont judge please.
• got over alex-alexa. <-- this took 1 year. ONE, YEAR. okay.
• got someone's heart broken
• performed a 7 minutes long and english speech in front of +800 people and almost peed my pants  lol jokes
• experienced cold feet and brain freeze for the very first time in my life

Point no 5 is yes, as bad as it sounds. I still feel really bad for it, somehow. I mean it affects me in some ways too. Not to mention that it didn't end too well... but it's not going to change anything anyway. It's been a month since that happened but we're both over it. :)

***

Enough with the sad things, did i mention that i've dyed my hair black again? If it's a yes, ugh. If it's not, i'm going to write a paragraph about it, and i choose not. So about a month ago i dip-dyed my hair red and i, am, in, love, with my hair. I even questioned myself for being more in love with my hair than idk, everything. And then school came and as much as i hate to do it, i've dyed my hair black again.

Your reaction 

(that's one sh*tty paragraph but it's still not over bro. And, This might not sound like a big deal to you but trust me, it is. It's like the end of an era. And just for the record, i can pull a red!)

Before i explain the tragedy, i might as well do this thing ...chronologically. Pause. I just typed a long and hard word and i don't even need to check if it's right or not (just in case). Good job, self! I deserve myself a medal.

So! Long story short, i took my mom to watch The Amazing Spiderman 3 times last month. (Because as you probably know, i've loved Andrew Garfield since Boy A.) And those 3 times are enough to made my mom fell in love with Gwen Stacy's hair. Not Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy. 

And then days later, Mom wanted to do this thing with her hair and so she drove me to the salon. The next thing i knew is that she encouraged me to cut this beautiful hair i've grown since January. January. I repeat, January. January people. January. I didn't pay attention much and i thought it was going to be great and i don't know that what Mom was trying to say is that i should've cut my bangs. As i was about to run and abort mission, this guy just came along and cut my bangs. With a razor. And i sat there, devastated. Now everytime i look into the mirror i see this sad sad girl, with them sad sad eyes. Prayer circle for marsha.

My reaction

My bangs are still pretty thick since i cut it and people are still joking around and everytime they see me they'll be like, "What do you have in there?" and i'll be like "a gun". As much as i hate to accentuate (hey 2 hard words in a row! Good day today.) it, i'll just cover it with a headband situation. But i still think...... i look good. ew hahaha jokes guys, jokes.

Almost forgot, I have this theory that if you cut your hair it means that you're going to get good luck for the next few days (and look like a british man). Well, f you too.

***

So anyway~ July was a fun month nonetheless, i had lots of laugh going on and hopefully August will be as good as July was. Or better.

OH and thank you to all of you new readers!!! The traffic's increasing so hello to you! As a gift to you and to know how i feel about this, please accept and enjoy this unnecessary gif of my soon-to-be husband :

i'm audi, peasants