Stuck On The Puzzle

I tried to swim to the side
But my feet got caught in the middle
And I thought I'd seen the light..

But I was just stuck on the puzzle.

you make me wanna curve the corners of my mouth

Today was a lousy day. It was bad in any way possible. I didn't exactly know why but i already sensed it since i woke up. I was grumpy and gloomy and i just didn't feel like doing anything. To say that i felt like sh*t was an understatement. (Maybe it's because i'm on my period, or maybe it's just bad luck.) Everything seemed audibly and visibly annoying, and this brought me to the shittiest mood ever. The mood spread into my mom's and then everyone and then the next thing i know is of all the bad days i've experienced before, i could crown today as one of the worst days..ever.

It all started when i went to school this morning, i got a massive-massive headache from last night (ha) and i couldn't do anything about it. Panadol or anything couldn't cover the pain and so I tried to eat ...but my body denied everything i tried to swallow. I half-heartedly went back to class and finished 3rd period. I swear it was the worst-- i didn't get the chance to swap places for the class retreat, and then another bad thing happened, and it just went like a cycle, or a circle; bad things happened one after another and long story short, finally i got the chance to go home and clear my mind.

While walking home, i counted all the steps and within every step, i tried to memorize about all the bad things i've experienced lately. Not only today-- these past few weeks i've been getting a whole lot of problems. Some blame fate, some blame karma, but i think it's just bad luck. When i reached home, everything was still not as good as what i expected. I couldn't connect my house' wifi to my mac and my iPod and i thought to myself, the world is slowly coming to an end.

That was the final thing and suddenly an idea filled into the peak of my head and as cliche as it is, i felt like that cheesy speechbubble filled with a lamp on top of me clinked and i thought, why don't you try to make yourself happy?

I opened my ms word and i made a list of all the things that make me happy. And not so long after that, i wander into my own thoughts.

The first thing that popped into my mind was the kooks' song called Junk Of The Heart. The intro never fails to amuse me, and also She&Him's This Is Not A Test comes next on the list. The next thing that makes me happy is the fact that I like to think that i'm on a movie, like all the problems i'm facing right now is the climax, and then things will sort by itself (which is nonsense in real life) and then, cut! Roll the credits, please. Other than that i like to pretend that i'm a singer and my bath tub is the stage where i perform. People may not know this but i think i'm quite decent at singing. My showercap says so. And after that i like to dance naked-- only in my robe and spin the belt around and around. The next thing might sound a bit corny but people who are madly in love with each other make me happy. They make me realize that love isn't just a piece of time in the world, it's actually worth waiting for, you know? Hehe. And the last thing that makes me happy is being naked. Being naked is liberating, i feel so free and i don't know, it feels good.

Time flies fast when you don't have too much time on your hands. And by that the next thing i knew that it was short to midnight when i was listening to piledriver waltz by the arctic monkeys. It's a routine-- to close my eyes everytime i play this song, and so i tried to relax all the tenses i've had before. I could hear the outside noises sneaking through my earphones, to be honest, it surprisingly pleased me--it was soft and moist, yet it still remained quiet somehow. The tunes cheered me up in some way and suddenly it made me happy. Well this thing is simple, but it made me smile.

See? After all, today wasn't that bad. In fact, everything isn't that bad after all. Whenever you feel like there's nothing you can do to fight all the problems ...just look on the bright side. (No seriously.) I usually don't pay attention to all the small but good things that happen to myself. I only focus on the bad things and i forgot about being free about having all of these things i have right now, about how blessed i am, etc etc. Maybe we're all too focused on all the bad things that happen to ourselves and we forgot about how fun life could be. What about dancing naked and singing off-key and just leave your morning commute? Be happy while you can. I think you should just forget all your problems for a while, take off your clothes, put on your robe and dance to Lady Gaga. (Gonna be okay. Doo-doo-doo-doo Just dance.)

7

1. What band has inspired you the most?
- I can say Arctic Monkeys but i'm pretty sure The Drums has inspired me in a lot of ways possible too. It's not just their music that inspires me a lot but it's also how they manage all the fame that they're getting and not letting it in into their heads. They're really down to earth and they seem to have this really great personality.

2:What/who got you into the music you listen to now?
- Movie soundtracks mostly and of course, my brother. And kak Cass also! It all started when I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind like a year ago, and as soon as it finished i rushed off into my laptop and googled the soundtrack. I did the same when i watched 500 days of Summer later that year.

3:Is music a big part of your life?
- You have no idea how big it is. Music is a really really big part of my life; i live in a family where you listen to music like 24/7. No, literally. Mum is an enormous fan of jazz    so basically i guess that affects all of my family members. As far as i could remember, mum blasts Earth, Wind & Fire or George Benson through her jbl speaker almost every night so that explains everything.

I learned to play piano when i was 4 and things just kinda went from there. Like i used to sing at the school's choir (but i don't anymore.) and a lot of other things. Music has always been there for me, sad, happy, whatever. Remember amateur's feeling - porcelain raft from last post? There you go.

4:How many concerts have you been to?
- Let's see uhm, P!ATD, Paramore, Katy Perry. I couldn't watch MGMT and the whitest boy alive and the drums because i'm still underage. :( OH! I went to watch Sondre Lerche last year on a jazz festival. Does that count?

5:What is the favorite merch item you’ve ever purchased?
- Beatles mug! I almost bought their lunchbox but i bought elmo instead. (enter plot twist?)

6:Who is your favorite musician/band?
- easy, Arctic Monkeys. And phoenix! Ugh that band is really really underrated by the way.

7:What song do you listen to when you’re sad?
- Luna by Smashing Pumpkins (acoustic version). This song has some kind of a personal memory for me, so it never fails to make me cry. Or maybe stuck in the puzzle by Alex Turner because it's a great song.

DON'T JUDGE but i listened to justin bieber's be alright yesterday and it hit me. (Only God can judge me.)

8:What song do you listen to when you’re mad?
- Any song by the arctic monkeys to be honest. It has some weird sense that could soothe me.

9:What song do you listen to when you’re pissed off?
- Family by The Cast of Cheers. I can't explain why, because the lyrics don't really match up with the situation but if you listen to the song you'll get it.

10:Have you ever moshed?
- No but i've seen one live on paramore's concert last year.

11:CD’s or iTunes?
- Vinyls. iTunes!

12:What is your favorite album? Why?
- My favorite album... i can't choose between Portamento by The Drums or Parachutes by Coldplay Or In Rainbows by Radiohead.

I kinda go with Portamento, though. It still has a bit of similarity from their first self-titled album, but portamento is just amazing. Jonny has this smiths-like tune on Money and all of the songs are ridiculously catchy, somehow. The lyrics are insanely bitter but i can relate to it because it's written by a teen's perspective.

13:Who is the funniest band/band member you know?
- Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. Funniest band? The Lonely Island......haha.

14:What band has the best lyrics?
- COLDPLAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!! And i like best coast as well. But she & him has this really cute lyrics that makes me want to cuddle in a bundle of joy and puke rainbows.

15:How has music helped you?

- Music has helped me in a lot of ways. For example, last year it helped me through the toughest moment, and just by listening to it or playing it on an instrument made me feel better--which is weird.

+

My mouth hasn’t shut up about you since you kissed it. 

The idea that you may kiss it again stuck in my brain, which hasn’t stopped thinking about you since well before any kiss. 

And now the prospect of those kisses seems to wind me like when you slip on the stairs and one of the steps hits you in the middle of the back. 

The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree.