rainy days, life, and well, everything. (if its possible)

ELLO PEOPLE!

oh God it's been 2 months since i left this blog and everything's still exactly like when i left it, hasn't changed a bit :"). (Wait, what.)

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So in case you're wondering about where was i after all these times, i've been keeping myself busy with lots and lots of homeworks, tasks, essays (which i'll post later he.) and meh, possibly everything.

(asleep - the smiths)

I mentioned about "living my life" on my previous previous post so, that's the main reason why i left the internet for a while. I've been trying to live my life the way it's supposed to be, trying to get to know the people i've already met but haven't known them personally, (reminiscing the fact that i'm leaving in approximately 5,6 or 7 months), doing school assignments (everyday oh mYGOD)  and i spent most of the time you know, thinking. There's this time when I overthink things way too much until i questioned myself, "do you always think this much?"

...Is it weird? That i often think about things i'm not supposed to think? Well i'm a thinker- i must say, but this is getting stronger everyday. Like i think way too much to the point where my head hurts and the only way to reduce it is to sleep. (Like i can haha.) Or maybe to listen to the sound of the rain. (I downloaded it, oh God, it's true about what they say, you can download everything from the internet these days.)

Speaking of which, it's been raining A LOT since october. It's good though--it's the good kind. The ones that'll make you feel warm even though it's cold outside. The ones that'll make you feel like you're a part of the universe-- like you're really there-- like you really do belong "here". The ones that'll make couples crumble to each other and us singles will listen to Ed Sheeran for the rest of the day. The ones where you just want to go outside and dance and just forget about everything for a while.

(That's funny though; "Forget about everything for a while". The truth is, I'm desperate to even breath right now. I just need to get away from everything (and by everything i mean people. or school.) for at least a day, a day off to watch old tvs.)

As the days go by, it's becoming a routine now. Those damned tasks, assignments, deadlines, and everything i can't write here. You know there's not a day without a ton of sighs and whines. I'm just tired, maybe even bored. It's becoming too frequent; the thinking too much, the ed sheeran replays, and well everything--possibly.

But if it's true what they say about this, i hope i can make it. I hope i won't be "that kid again". I hope i won't be just the girl around the corner. I hope all the ed sheeran replays, all the walk home by the rain, all the crumbles and all the time i sacrificed is worth it. Amen.

a postcard to 15:10:18

dear that-peculiar-guy,

first of all, i don't even know why i'm writing this letter to you. i might as well just talk to you straight up because this ain't a nicholas sparks movie whatsoever. But i'm trying to be classy here and write you a letter. Not technically but, still.

since tomorrow is tuesday, (but for you it's monday because we live > 7278 miles from each other, so yeah) and tuesday is my favorite day of the week, which for your additional info i name it as sexy tuesday, and i have nothing to do, (which is a lie because i have a shizload of things i gotta do before saturday) i decided to write you a letter. Even though you might not read it because i haven't built the courage to give this to you yet, but i guess if you're reading this right now and haven't thrown this to the trash can.. well, um hi.

how are you anyway? i hope you're good because if you're not ..that would be really really awkward. Well i'm good, in case you're wondering whether i'm on drugs or not, because normally i wouldn't send letters like these to people; 1) Because i don't usually take interest on writing cheesy things and expect people to read AND like them, and 2) I have other things to do like, lay around and do nothing with my life or just simply circulating oxygen to co2.

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(background song: sondre lerche - stupid memory)

Today, something really strange just happened to me. You know that moment when you feel like a song brings you to a certain memory and all you want is to go back and change everything?

I felt that way and it just stung me right in the brain. It's like when you were half way to sleep and you had that crazy feeling of falling and then sudden-realization hits you and you were all dumb-founded. Needless to say, i was silent for a minute or two, trying to bring back my mind into normal and stare into my iPod.

Smith Westerns - Weekend

It brought me to the day when i first acknowledged your existence. I remember when i first knew this song, i actually thought that you wouldn't know it. But then i figured out that you even made a massive shout out to this band and from there, i began to take interest in you.

To be honest, i was scared to meet someone like you at first. i was scared to even know you at all. I was scared that my idea of perfection is actually real, i was scared that someone who i always previously dreamt of, who only lived on my imagination, is actually presented in you.

I began to learn about you a bit more. I learnt that we both like arctic monkeys so much, we hate sports so much, we like the horrors so much and many other things.

Another memory passes me by and it brought me to the day when you put phoenix's record on.

Phoenix - Consolation Prizes

I lay my head on the table and start humming to the beat of it. I remember how you've been loop the looping around my brain and messed it up with that stupid raven hair that looks like a hipster hair-cut. Ugh that stupid overrated headphone you clung on your neck. Ugh that stupid topman t-shirts.

Cut off your hair yeah that's it! If you look like that i swear i'm gonna love you more.
I thought about this for a long time, never had the chance to try and make it better, my heart is waiting for a new you.


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I like the way you do cheeky stuffs and abnormal stuffs that sometimes it made me think: 'how can i fell for this?', and the way you're so modest that even people who put up nasty comments on your social networking sites, you still compliment them-- which is the exact opposite of me. Your sense of humour is a+. You always send me awful on the chuckles, and even the crappiest jokes it could turn me on and i'd still laugh at it. You've got good taste in music. There are no words to describe how good your taste in music is like.

You taught me a lot of things, besides cooking and shiz like that. How you dare to be really different from the others and do things like a badass dude, (because you're a dude. wait am i ruining the moment again? yes? sorry.) how you don't care about what people say and not afraid of risks.

Well after all those words i've typed and made my fingers really crampy,

If it puts an end to all this nonsense blabbering, i just want to check in, cause fyi sir : you wander in my mind 24/7. Alongside alex turner. and pretty flowers. Anyway, i want to say that you're a wonderful human being, and,

 don't let anyone stand in your way.

Yours truly,


m